Curtain Up!

I was once told that the key to being a good performer is to never let your audience worry about you. Genius...right? Well because if you DO let the audience worry, you're uncomfortable, they're uncomfortable, it's just going to be a bad situation for all parties involved. Unfortunately, I have recently been to far too many shows where all I did was worry, so this is Lo's Tips to Being on Stage Part 1:

1) Look Good

It says a lot when a group comes on stage and I say "Damn, they look good!" Why does it say a lot? Because it doesn't happen very often.

Usually I notice the one guy that didn't iron his dress shirt, the chick whose dress is so tight and so short that I'm positive I will see her crotch at any moment, the horse stomping of ladies that can't walk in heels but thought 5 inchers were appropriate, smudged make up, un-brushed hair....

Generally- Guys, stop being slobs and if you can't seem to dress yourself, ask a girl... or a metrosexual. Ladies, THIS IS NOT THE CLUB!!!! Must you look like you're about to get your Ke$ha on? Because the #1 thing I find myself worrying about at EVERY a cappella show is who's boob or crotch is going to pop out first.

The classical singer in me says unless your group decides to wear gowns on stage, bare shoulders are never appropriate. Why? Well to be honest, you are probably far less tan than you think you are and pasty + bare shoulders + stage lights = ghost. You are now a ghost on stage. Even further (and slightly more...well...you know...) your arms are probably not as thin or toned as you may like and trust me, the lights are NOT helping. But if you reeeeeeally feel like you are Gwyneth Paltrow in stature and can pull off a bare shoulder, at least make sure you have straps on your dress or top to hold those puppies in. There has been far too many times I've thought a paparazzi-worthy "wardrobe malfunction" was going to happen on stage because someone aca-bopped a little too hard and their top started falling. And if you're on the smaller side of the endowment scale, you KNOW you have nothing to hold a tube top up and it is inevitable for it to fall...so...straps.

Also, ladies, if you're singing on a raised stage and you're wearing a really short dress, trust me that the first and second rows of the audience are getting a show they did NOT pay for. Oh...but you're wearing tights, it should all be ok.... WRONG! Please take those tights of yours, stretch them a little, and hold them to the light. Ah yes, there's still a free show. If tights are your solution to the crotch watch problem, you HAVE TO make sure that they're very opaque because of the lights or wear Spanx under your dress.

Basically, stage lights are not forgiving. The audience can see through anything that's white or not very opaque, they can see every roll and dimple if something is too tight, and they wash you out completely (even the ethnic folk). Then, can you please look like a group? No, everyone doesn't have to wear the same thing, but establish an image and have a dress rehearsal to make sure that everyone falls in line with that image. Also, just stop looking like you jumped off a school bus and into Schlubs R' Us or like you've spent the last three days drinking in a sketchy bar. Trashy is trashy...not classy and immediately can turn an audience member off.

P.S. The sooner I stop seeing collegiate groups where all black with red accents...the better.

2) Get the water bottles OFF the stage.


First, I really don't care to know who in your group prefers purified water over spring water. I just don't. I also don't think Aquafina paid for the free advertising or care who has made the decision to be green and buy their own water bottle.

Second, do you reeeeally need it? Besides just being tacky, is there really a reason for you to need a sip of water after every song? I don't think so. I'm almost positive that your high school choir director or even college choir director didn't let you bring a water bottle on stage to sing the entirety of Handel's Messiah, so why, may I ask, do you need it to sing a 6 song a cappella set? Answer is... you don't.

Now, vocal percussionists needing water bottles, I totally understand. It's all about avoiding dry mouth and I get it. But singers? YOUR BODY KNOWS WHAT IT'S DOING!! And can surely take care of itself for half an hour. In fact, your body is constantly lubricating your vocal folds while singing and by drinking water you are pretty much flushing away that natural lubrication. (that is not a good thing.) Of course your body needs help every once in a while, so just keep water bottles to the side of the stage, if you really need it. But if you feel like you've just run a mile and lost approximately half of your body's water after every song, then you are clearly just doing something wrong and need to reassess how you're singing.

It's just not a good look or very professional for everyone to walk on stage with a water bottle. I'm sure your set design for whatever show you're singing did not include 15 water bottles, so you could imagine how almost sloppy it looks to an audience.

3) Stop being awkward


Ok, I understand that there are just some awkward people in the world, but they don't have to actually be awkward on stage. Rehearsals are not only meant for music, they are meant for exactly what is going to happen during your show or set. Practice who is going to talk and when and exactly what they're going to say. You may think you're clever when speaking off the cuff...but you're not. It's almost 98% guaranteed you're just awkward and stumbling over words and alienating your audience or just plain old being offensive.

Then, movement. USE A MIRROR! You may think you look awesome on stage, but you don't. That thing you do with your hand while you sing, is really just distracting. And everyone bopping in the same direction, is really just going to make your audience sea sick. Here's the real truth:

You are not as cool or sexy or smooth or engaged or anything else you may think on stage. You actually look silly, need to calm your hands down, are making an incredibly awkward and uncomfortable "sexy" face, and 9 times out of 10 you just look bored.

So...stop that. Your entire group needs to practice in front of a mirror or videotape a rehearsal and call out the people that are a detriment to your stage performance.

More awkward things (especially in scholastic performances): the ever shuffling of your group. Do you know how weird it is to watch people literally shuffle themselves around and bump into each other to go from one double arc to... another double arc? Why do you do that? Why can you not sing in the same places for more than one song? This is what I normally see:

Boring performance of some song followed by a quick and not thought out ending, then no acknowledgement of the audience's existence even though they are clapping for you, with a FRANTIC shuffling of people from one side of an arc to the other side complete with shoulder bumping and people stepping on toes.

Ummm...strange. Now, if you acknowledge the audience and have someone speaking while the mass amounts of shuffling happens, this is a whole different story because they won't be focusing on people literally bumping into each other. Also, if you practice your set order everyone should know where they're going and when. That way the franticness of the whole shuffling situation should be eliminated, no one gets stepped on and it looks far more professional.

Basically, practice EVERYTHING you do on stage from the moment you walk on to how you bow.

4) Don't let me worry


Be confident on stage and never let the audience know that there is room for something to go wrong. Don't tell us you're sick or apologize for missing members or say that you JUST learned whatever song you're about to sing because natural human instinct is to find the mistakes. If you tell me you're sick, I'm going to look for what note you didn't hit or if you tell me you tell me you're missing members I will leave the performance saying, "I guess they were good, but I wonder how they'd sound if they had all their members." Instead of focusing on how actually good you are, I am now focusing on how you could be better.

Then it comes down to practice again. If you look worried or not confident on stage, the audience will be worried for you, and it will no longer be an enjoyable experience. If you're constantly pulling your skirt down, that's what they'll focus on. It's your job as a performer to make the audience feel welcome and safe and like nothing will go wrong. Why do you think Beyonce fell down those stairs and just got right back up and sang? Because that's her job, to make the audience feel like it's all ok.

Overall, take a step back and assess what exactly you're doing on stage. Your performance is just as important as the notes you sing and most likely more memorable for the audience. Are you really living up to your performance potential? Are you as professional as you could be or are you settling for amateur mistakes? Every second counts on stage.

Until the journey continues...

Please send feedback to acalosophy@gmail.com. I'd love to hear your thoughts and know who's out there reading. Also any subject suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you everyone for all of your support!

Listen to Your Mom...

Bundle up and get some sleep!!

Sickness seems to be all around right about now. In fact, I was even plagued with fever and a horrendous chest cold this week, so I thought it was a good time to talk about staying healthy.

In my opinion, the one thing most groups do wrong... actually, most singers do wrong... actually, most people do wrong is push themselves to the point of becoming unhealthy both mentally and physically and just plain old don't take care of themselves. Well, to that I say: YOU ARE NOT SUPERMAN!

It's cold outside and everybody is sneezing and coughing and generally being walking petri dishes of sick. So, it's your job to protect yourself. While you can wash your hands a million times and tell your coughing best friend to not visit you for a week, that's just not enough. You have to make sure you're eating right and getting the vitamins you need, constantly hydrating your body, keeping warm, and getting enough sleep.

But above all, don't stress you or your singers out!!! Stress is the gateway to sickness. Let's be honest, you're probably balancing 349979379 things in your life on top of your singing obligations. So it's the week of the big show and you're running from place to place, probably grabbing whatever you can get on the nearest dollar menu (sugar-filled soft drink included), getting home late, attempting to finish whatever you possibly can before you absolutely pass out, and wake up at 8 AM to do it all over again. Riiiiiiiight... stop that.

What you're actually doing is depriving your body of the vitamins and minerals it needs, disrupting your metabolism and that, combined with your lack of sleep, has now forced your body to run completely on adrenaline. Add dehydration and you have now become the number one candidate for becoming sick. On top of that, running around like a chicken without a head does not constitute exercise and you have those Big Macs you've been eating for lunch for the last 5 days just sitting in you. So, what's your body's response to toxins (read: anything bad for you including that last trip to the BK Lounge)?

Mucus.

Yea...it's not pretty. So why push yourself to this point? Or even better, why push your singers to this point? I know that (at least in the collegiate world) there are far too many times obsessive amounts of ridiculously long and late rehearsals are scheduled the week of a show or competition. Well, I have two thoughts on that. A) If you're still learning music the week of the show, you should probably just not sing it and figure out how to do a better job of learning enough music next time. B) You have now forced all of the members of your group to run the gauntlet of illness. Will they get sick? Who knows. But it sure seems like you're asking for it.

Recap: Make sure you're eating well, bundling up so your body can focus on fighting infection rather than retaining heat, drinking lots and lots of water, and get plenty of sleep and downtime to not stress yourself out! 

But what if you already have the cold and performance day is coming up? A) Act fast. B) Help the mucus.

Remember that your body produces mucus in order to flush toxins out, it's a good thing. So while over the counter medicines like anti-histamines and decongestants will take away the congestion, they inhibit your body's natural healing process. They will also dry out your body's mucus membranes (like your vocal folds) and can cause you to lose your voice. So you should really just be drinking more water and natural juices to help the mucus flush everything out and/or taking supplements to replenish any vitamins that are depleted from being sick. (Vitamins C and B complex are the first to go.)

All of that water is also going to help make sure the mucus doesn't get to your lungs and prevent coughing. Other things to do is inhale steam. (Please don't burn yourself...or blame me, if you do). A good hot shower usually works pretty well to loosen the congestion and will actually soothe your vocal folds.  I'm also a huge fan of a Netty Pot to help get any congestion stuck in your nasal and sinus passage ways. As a victim of chronic sinusitis, I have sworn on one for years and seriously don't think I could live without it. Another trick (that is far cheaper) is to hold a warm, damp washcloth over your nose and mouth for a couple minutes while taking some good deep breaths.

Of course teas, honey, and other soothers may take the edge off soar muscles, but won't necessarily aid in the healing of your vocal folds. Now, if you turn to cough drops, make sure you get the right ones. Mentholated or cough drops that boast "Vapor-action" may help clear your sinuses but are quite drying. And if they say they're medicated or have an oral anesthetic...STAY AWAY! Letting you talk through your pain will almost definitely cause more damage. I would suggest buying herbal/lemon cough drops or cough drops that also have vitamin supplements like Vitamin C (as I already said), echinecea (to help out your immune system), and zinc (to overall help your body fight infection). Try  Halls Defense (R) in Harvest Cherry.

Finally, be gentle on your vocal cords. Do not use them excessively and try to avoid talking, yelling, and loud singing. However, very light and soft humming is a good way to loosen your voice in preparation for your big show. Make sure you get plenty of sleep leading up to it, but day of, don't spend all day sleeping. Wake up, take a hot shower, and get your body moving.

Don't forget to listen to your body. If day of it's telling you that you shouldn't be singing, don't. It's that easy. And music directors, never ever ever push your singers if they're sick! Just let them relax and maybe observe rehearsals (if they're not going to infect everybody). Day of, you have to respect their decision to sing or not.

So, put down your Whopper and go grab an apple and a water bottle. Oh and take a nap later!

Until the Journey continues...

Where has all the singing gone?

Alright, this is the first time  all weekend I've been able to sit down with a stable internet connection and I can admit that the topic I was going to write on has changed approximately 4307927972 times. But after watching last night's Varsity Vocals ICCA Northeast Quarterfinal #2, it came to me. Where has all the singing gone?

Disclaimer: This is the beginning of the philosophy portion of Acalosophy. These are entirely my own sentiments and opinions that I have formed over the years I have been involved in and watching/listening to contemporary a cappella. However, I hope that though my readers may not take all of what I am about to say to heart, that it will plant a seed of inspiration and thought provocation.

"Wait, all we do is sing...what does she mean where has all the singing gone?" 

If I had a nickel for every time I heard "You have to be a piano now" or "C'mon, you're the guitar here".... Ummm....I hate to break it to you, but...YOU WILL NEVER BE A PIANO OR A GUITAR!!! And if at any point in your life you find yourself in that slightly awkward situation, please contact the witch  that put the spell on you and tell her you'd like to be human again because to be quite honest, singing is one of the most emotive and effective forms of communication and performance, so being human is way cooler.

What I'm trying to say is, why are we trying to emulate instruments? (Of course awesome vocal horns and strings and flutes aside....because if you can pinpoint an instrument like that, well, you're just cool). Why are we not just singing or SANGIN', for that matter? Why has"zhin" and "zho" replaced the natural beauty of the voice? And to be the most  honest, what the hell instrument goes "zho" anyway?

Personally, I think the voice is the most versatile, warm, beautiful, and misused instrument. I just don't think enough people truly explore it's capabilities. The beauty of humming, the timbres you can create by just placing it differently, the depth of pure vowels like "oo", "oh" and "ah". The voice can do so much more than the average person gives it credit for. And seriously, when was the last time you heard The Swingle Singers, The Real Group, Take 6, Sonos, Basix, Naturally 7 (ok there are far too many amahzballs groups...so you get the point) sing "zhin"? No, you don't have to think about it...never. They all focus on the singing, they all focus on getting the message of the song across, and while some may use some nonsense syllables or words to get the sounds that they want out, I'm sure if you asked any of them, there is intent and purpose behind each of those sounds and they are by no means arbitrary.

Now, I am probably the most instrumentally challenged individual you will ever meet, so I just can't think like an instrumentalist. As an arranger I always think "How does this line make sense for the singer?" "Can a singer even do this?" "What could someone sing this on to make it easy for them?" THINK LIKE A SINGER! In more beginning arrangers, you can almost tell what instrument they play because that's how they arrange. I have seen many a pianist, trumpet player, violinist, saxophonist and so on include unrealistic rhythms and intervals because they put their musical prowess to work rather than remembering that people are going to be singing this and that no one, i repeat, NO ONE wants to or can do octave jumps on quick sixteenth notes! So rather than trying to get someone to sound like your violin, why don't you just have them sing? If you can't sing it, there's probably a 98.9% chance that they won't be able to. And that's why I love the aforementioned groups. Because they have garnered decades of success from just some plain old, jaw-dropping, tight harmonies and singing.

So, what about last night's quarterfinal made me think of this? 2 words: NYU N'Harmonics. 

I am not one to say that I am absolutely in love with any collegiate group. Even when I was in one, I looked to traditional choral arrangements and professional groups for inspiration. But the N'Harmonics....now there was some sangin' or shall I say SCRELTING! (a delightful mix between a scream and a belt) Everyone else fussed with choreography and outfits and "blend" and nonsense, while they just showed up and sang, and showed that they loved every second of it. It was by far the most refreshing performance I had seen in a very long time. They didn't care who was watching and there was not a single "zhin" in sight. But with a series of "oo", "ah", humming, "WOW", using lyrics, and just overall groove, they oozed passion. They explored every facet and dynamic of the human voice and their passion while doing so was felt all the way to the rafters. (No really, last night's competition was in a church.)

Their short 12 minute performance reminded me of what I had been missing in live a cappella for months now. The singing. Really, where has it all gone? 

I obviously have plenty more to say on this topic, and will....but start thinking about it. Is your "doh" "zhin" "ba da" really the most effective way of singing and telling the story you want to tell? Is it really necessary to cram every single note that's in the original track of a song you're covering into an arrangement? Or would just an "oo" serve you better? Go listen to The Swingle Singers and The Real Group and check out videos of the N'Harmoncs and see what they do. It's obviously gotten them far.... (Grammy awards and such...no big deal...) Find your voice or maybe, rediscover it.

Until the journey continues...

P.S. It's competition season! Don't forget to check out an ICCA, ICHSA, or Harmony Sweepstakes event near you! Support the art! 

Y'all just might hate me...

...or you won't. But I HATE the word "blend". Hate hate hate hate HAAAAATE. Though, I promise, for good reason.


Webster defines the word blend as "mix; especially : to combine or associate so that the separate constituents or the line of demarcation cannot be distinguished". So in the vocal and a cappella world this would mean to unify the group's sound. (I agree with this so far.) Unfortunately, there is often not enough discussion on what makes up a group's sound or how to achieve a "good blend". It is usually assumed that your singers will automatically understand what you mean. Well, this is where I hate "blend".


For some reason, many singers and directors believe that blend is achieved by everyone sounding the same and that Susie now has to give up her own personal tone and voice to sound just like Sally. Ummm wrong. Your body, for the most part, knows what's up and knows the only way for you to be singing healthy. So whatever Susie is doing to sound like Sally is probably wrecking her voice and ultimately sacrificing how long she will be able to sing.

DISCLAIMER: I will always preach that the vocal, physical, and mental health of your singers is number one! If your singers are sick, then they can't sing, and you will have no group. So always promote healthy singing! ALWAYS! I will harp on this many, many, many times! Allow for an open environment in which your singers feel like they can say whether or not they can't do something or  if it hurts, never FORCE them to sing something they don't feel comfortable with. As I said, your body knows best.

Plus, you let Susie into your group because of how she sings, not for her ability to sing like someone else or the rest of the group. Her tone and vocal quality obviously have something to offer your group, something you liked, and something you thought would be a good fit. Let's be honest, why would allow someone into your group because you don't like how they can sing but think you can change them to fit better? That seems...well...counterproductive. So rather than falling victim to the "Blend Monster" of unhealthy singing, why not break it down into concepts your singers (and yourself, as a singer) can grasp easier?

I like to break it down into three main concepts: voice matching, vowel unification, and tuning. While all three make up what should be understood as blend, they are far easier to understand when isolated. Here is how:

Voice Matching

This may seem like the most abstract concept of the three, however when mastered, voice matching will help lead to ease in vowel unification and tuning. Therefore, I like to address it first.

It's actually pretty simple, some voices sound good together and some voices don't. I'm not talking about an entire group of people, I am saying literally two voices. Whether it's physical proximity or singing the same part, certain voices due to color, clarity, speed of vibrato, etc. just complement each other or some seem to naturally fight each other giving the illusion of being out of tune. So what you need to do is identify the groups of voices that just work together. Sometimes if two voices seem to fight each other, adding a third voice that seems to "bridge" the two is all you need.

How do you put this in practice? I often like to have the group sing in a circle around me on an "oo". First I have them sing tonic (or scale degree 1) and shuffle voices around (literally tell people to move their bodies to where their voice is a better match) as I see fit. Then I identify the group of singers that will be singing the top part of a four part harmony, and have them sing tonic up the octave. After some more shuffling and once tonic is locked in, I choose singers to add the fifth of the chord and then the third. At this point, I can ask a singer to switch notes, where their singing, play with dynamic contrast to establish a sound, etc. and then use different vowels and make minor adjustments. I suggest "ah" or "oh" to contrast the sound of the closed vowel you just used. This is a 10-20 minute exercise that will save you oodles of time down the road.

Once you've set vocal matches, you can now grasp an idea of with whom, what part, and where each of your singers should be singing for each piece.

Vowel Unification

While I am of the school that enjoys taller and more classical vowels (mostly due to my classical voice upbringing), it doesn't really matter what vowels you use, as long as you decide on something. I do think that the taller and more pure vowels are easier to unify, especially in large groups, however they may not play well into your group's style or sound.

I have found the best way to unify vowels are through unison exercises. Demonstrate the vowel you would like, ask your group to observe the color and shape of what you are singing and have them try to replicate what you are doing without trying to sound exactly like you. Then use words like rounder, darker, brighter, taller, thinner, etc. to describe how they should think about the sound you are trying to achieve. Often i have found that words associated to something tangible work best.

Now, I have seen and heard some pretty incorrect ways to achieve different sounds and vowel colors. One example is to tell your singers to put more air or breath in their tone. While this technique seems to work towards an immediate unification of sound, it is horrible for vocal health (told ya' I was going to harp on this a lot!) and in fact, makes unifying sound more difficult because it robs the voice of its full overtones. Furthermore, adding air or "more breath" to one's tone fosters poor breath support habits, as well as leads to the swelling of the vocal folds from their inability to come together and can result in many vocal problems including the formation of vocal nodes. Basically, DON'T DO THIS!!!!!!!

Also, pay attention to how your singers are creating the color you are asking of them. Often, when a taller or darker color is asked for, untrained singers tend to focus their tone towards the back of their head and their throat which results in tongue tension , or the tensing of the root of the tongue. It is pretty easily identifiable when your singers tongue seems like it is in one big wad in the back of their throat. This habit will usually result in pushing the sound and many other poor techniques.

Try to be wise in how you ask for the vowel shape and color you are asking for. Again, sacrificing one's natural tone for the sake of "blend" is NOT what you want.

Tuning

To be quite honest, once you have the first two concepts, you will find that you are faced with far fewer tuning issues. However, that is not an excuse for a lazy ear. Find exercises that challenge your singers to actually listen to the rest of the group instead of just themselves. Seventh chords, add 9 chords, and add 6 chords are great for this because of their built in dissonances but also because of the impact they have on your singers once tuned. They will be floored at the sounds and overtones they are able to make. I also suggest the exercise discussed in voice matching. You can't place the fifth of the chord until tonic is completely in tune and then you can't place the third of the chord until that is in tune. Just constantly find ways to have them use their ears and become aware of tuning issues themselves. (I will be discussing other tuning exercises at a later time.)

Wrapping it up, I think exploring "blend" in the three isolated concepts will make it infinitely easier to create a consistent and unified sound. I still think using the word "blend" can be dangerous simply because of its connotation to sacrifice a singers individual tone and suggest that you use it with caution. Basically, beware of the "Blend Monster"!

Until the journey continues....

p.s. Don't forget to leave me your comments or send your questions and suggestions to acalosophy@gmail.com!